Contact Info / Websites

Recent Movie Reviews

clownBARN clownBARN

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars


You've seen a bug bunny cartoon, right? Have you ever seen one while high, because it's so much better. This should really be a short on tv. It was hysterical the clowns are like "lalalala" and then he notices they were driving the scooby doo van and are like aaaaahh! you meddling kids put my uncle in jail. HAHAHA!

That was totally random, anyway it was a superb animation that really knocked me off my feet. w00t w00t.


Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

Enough Already

Two word summation is always necessary so, 'Look it's Boredom Clock' (yeah yeah I know it's more than two)

I can't understand how a bunch of clocks dancing to music is good animation. Out of every clock piece I've seen maybe one or two were original, all the others were blatant ripoffs that didn't get blammed simply because: How My Gosh Look It's 'Clock Clock'! Any other theme remade this many times would have been blammed just like stick figures. Maybe I just don't get the point but so help me god If you're willing to w00t a clock don't whine about numa numa remakes either. This is just an example of why a "Clock Shock" never makes the front page.

OrangeClock responds:

hey guess what i had a movie with a clown and his dick flopping around and that made the front page so why don't you shut the hell up you no talent piece of crap

Tinman Tinman

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

'Superior Work'

Very good animation with unique style of graphics that allows the message to remain clear without being inundated by flashy graphics or an obnoxious background music. Extremely short animation that utilizes a slow pace to avoid a rushed feeling. Two word summary is always necessary so, 'Excellent Emotion'

Tells the story of a robot seeking to become more human in that he builds himself a proverbial heart so that he can understand human motivation. The robot becomes overwhelmed in a sea of things he has never understood or felt before-he becomes aware of senses and feelings, emotion. At this point he can no longer understand what is happening and is forced to tear it out to stop the stream of sensations that he cannot explain.

BlackmarketKraig responds:

Thanks. ^_^

I like your style of reviewing. It's impressive. Do you put so much thought into all your reviews?

I like the number three more than the number two, so a three word summary of your review would be:
'Very nicely done.'

Recent Game Reviews

Motherload Motherload

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Great Time Waster

Spend hours trying to dig and then an earthquake ruins everything. Awesome expansive game that just when you're 37ft from the mysterious 6000ft depth a gas pocket blows up your ride. Oh well, just a few tips are: dig straight down don't worry about picking up the small minerals, you'll eventually get an artifact or dinosaur bones that are worth 50,000 dollars; also, buy reserve fuel cells, it helps.

Two word summation is always necessary so, 'A MostExcellent Game'
(yeah yeah I know it was four)

Turbo Tank Turbo Tank

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Alien Hominid Prodigy

Superb design and intial thought; morever, this is most likely how Alien Hominid started, with a small teaser that grew into a full fleged demo. Instead of using blueprint style of graphics this flash branches out using its own unique style of animation. Simplistic, excellent 2-D sideways shooter that is strangely addicting and rises above the rest. A two word summation is always necessary so, 'Original Wunderkind'

Something's that could definitely make this game better would be more sketch detail (more stylistic graphics using your sketch style of animation, zoom in (the game is excellent except for the size of the active agents within the game, try having a small field of vision with larger graphics), and obviously length would definitely make this a straight ten.

Alien Hominid Alien Hominid

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Awesome Style

Awesome style and approach to a unique animation style. I would have given it a ten all the way around except for the goofy sounds. Try playing it with the sound off and the stereo on.